And truth be told, so will they, because even if it takes 15 years, we are determined that they will not have a whine to stand on. No doubt about it, the Holy Spirit is on our side. They will have no choice but to laugh...and thank us.
Because that is exactly what we are setting out to lure them into willingly doing.
Being content. Do you want in on it?
Now, about contentment...
So, about 2,000 years ago, there were these men in Greece who had the contentment thing nailed. They taught that men who were truly wise didn't need material things in order to be happy. And they often demonstrated their wisdom by making sure that they never had very much. Their word for contentment literally meant self-strength or self-sufficient. [1]
If we stop to think about it, we still recognize that contentment implies self-strength or self-sufficiency. It means that we have taught ourselves to master our emotions and summon up the strength within us to be happy. No doubt about it, this is a huge accomplishment.
And a daunting thing to try to teach children (deep breath!)
But one of Jesus' followers (Paul) had a little fun with this definition of contentment:
Not that I speak from want,
for I have learned to be content [self-strong]
in whatever circumstances I am.
I know how to get along with humble means,
and I also know how to live in prosperity;
in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret
of being filled and going hungry,
both of having abundance and suffering need.
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
(Phil 4: 11-13, NASB)
Now before we go any further, let's look at that last sentence there. Yeah...the really, really familiar one.
The biggest thing here is that Paul was saying that even though it looked like he was "self-strong", he wasn't really "self-strong". No, it wasn't his own strength. It was strength that came from Jesus.
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" meant that Paul had the strength to be content when he had plenty of food to eat and a roof over his head...and when he was sitting in jail with absolutely nothing through no choice of his own. Unlike the Greeks who took great pride and personal satisfaction in purposely depriving themselves. Yes, there is a difference.
Now, that is the kind of contentment strength that I want my children to have.
Being content doesn't mean being all hunky-dory that life is less than ideal. It means having the strength to joyfully deal with the less than ideal while still recognizing and perhaps working towards the ideal. To focus on what we have rather than what we don't have.
This is the kind of contentment that will carry them through bad hair days, fun times with friends, job loss, the thrill of success, and bitter mourning.
Contentment, Paul-style, Jesus-style, is holy, because it is something that is of God. It is something to go after with eagerness and enthusiasm. It pulses through God's Kingdom.
But it isn't going to do much good to be discontent with discontentment.
No...dealing with discontentment requires a special kind of God-empowered-self-strength.
The kind that realizes that often, we are just as discontent as they are. We just have a different way of showing it. Oh, but we show it.
And it ain't pretty when it shows.
But if we show it when we are trying to teach them contentment, it is going to undermine everything.
The truth is that this special kind of God-empowered-self-strength is more than an issue of just knowing that this type of muscle exists. It's also an issue of actually exercising that muscle.
As parents, we realize that kids have really little muscles, and of those muscles, the self-strength muscle can be among the weakest. It gets tired really, really easily.
Especially when they are being forced to do something that they don't enjoy. And then even sometimes when they have something they like, but they just want something...different. {face-palm}.
This clearly isn't a fun muscle to exercise, so we trick them into exercising. We try to make it fun.
Because we want this God-strength to become real so that eventually, it won't hurt so much to exercise it and they'll be able to exercise it on their own.
However, I strongly suspect that in the process, we will discover that the joke is on us. That our kids aren't really the ones being tricked. We are.
Precious little whiners that we are, we aren't going to know what hit us. Because even if it takes 50 more years, He is determined that we will not have a whine to stand on. No doubt about it, the Holy Spirit is on His side. And we will have no choice but to laugh...and thank Him.
Curious about the cute little "I am content" card in the picture and video? You can find those at We Choose Virtues. (Use the code FAMILY20 to get 20% off a Family Kit).
[1] Craig S. Keener, The IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament
,
(IVP Academic,1994).
Did you catch that? It doesn't mean this:
It does means this:
The biggest thing here is that Paul was saying that even though it looked like he was "self-strong", he wasn't really "self-strong". No, it wasn't his own strength. It was strength that came from Jesus.
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" meant that Paul had the strength to be content when he had plenty of food to eat and a roof over his head...and when he was sitting in jail with absolutely nothing through no choice of his own. Unlike the Greeks who took great pride and personal satisfaction in purposely depriving themselves. Yes, there is a difference.
Now, that is the kind of contentment strength that I want my children to have.
Being content doesn't mean being all hunky-dory that life is less than ideal. It means having the strength to joyfully deal with the less than ideal while still recognizing and perhaps working towards the ideal. To focus on what we have rather than what we don't have.
This is the kind of contentment that will carry them through bad hair days, fun times with friends, job loss, the thrill of success, and bitter mourning.
Contentment, Paul-style, Jesus-style, is holy, because it is something that is of God. It is something to go after with eagerness and enthusiasm. It pulses through God's Kingdom.
Responding to Discontentment
We can get angry and frustrated at discontentment. We can criticize them for it and preach at them about how they need to be happy with what they've been given and how they have been given so much.But it isn't going to do much good to be discontent with discontentment.
No...dealing with discontentment requires a special kind of God-empowered-self-strength.
The kind that realizes that often, we are just as discontent as they are. We just have a different way of showing it. Oh, but we show it.
And it ain't pretty when it shows.
But if we show it when we are trying to teach them contentment, it is going to undermine everything.
The truth is that this special kind of God-empowered-self-strength is more than an issue of just knowing that this type of muscle exists. It's also an issue of actually exercising that muscle.
As parents, we realize that kids have really little muscles, and of those muscles, the self-strength muscle can be among the weakest. It gets tired really, really easily.
Especially when they are being forced to do something that they don't enjoy. And then even sometimes when they have something they like, but they just want something...different. {face-palm}.
This clearly isn't a fun muscle to exercise, so we trick them into exercising. We try to make it fun.
Because we want this God-strength to become real so that eventually, it won't hurt so much to exercise it and they'll be able to exercise it on their own.
Prepare to be Amused
These next few posts will focus on a few of the stealthy ways my husband and I are having fun tricking our kids into exercising their little contentment muscles.However, I strongly suspect that in the process, we will discover that the joke is on us. That our kids aren't really the ones being tricked. We are.
Precious little whiners that we are, we aren't going to know what hit us. Because even if it takes 50 more years, He is determined that we will not have a whine to stand on. No doubt about it, the Holy Spirit is on His side. And we will have no choice but to laugh...and thank Him.
Bonus Feature
This contented little ditty is courtesy of my hubby, Bryan. My knight-in-shining-armor discovered that we were having a little issue at the breakfast table regarding something that resembled "But I didn't want milk this morning!" In triplicate. The exact words were a little hard to distinguish because they weren't being spoken in normal voice. But my knight swooped in to the rescue! (Though he is slightly embarrassed about the "yeah" at the end ;-) )Curious about the cute little "I am content" card in the picture and video? You can find those at We Choose Virtues. (Use the code FAMILY20 to get 20% off a Family Kit).
,(IVP Academic,1994).
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