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Thursday, January 23, 2014
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
A Quick Little Tug On An Earlobe
I called him Cousin Mike. Mainly because he deserved an affectionate name, and Daddy calls Mike's wife "Cousin Linda." To this day, I have no idea exactly how we are related. Momma just ignored the tangled family tree limbs and called him her brother.
Because that's who we all are. Family.
It's one of the deep, mysterious Truths that I couldn't help but learn experientially while growing up in a little country church congregation in the outskirts of Cut-N-Shoot, Texas. Blood is thicker than water, and this little congregation is a family of faith that knows it is bound together by the thickest, holiest blood of all.
And Cousin Mike made sure I knew it, too...with a very simple gesture. He pulled my earlobe. A quick little tug is all it took.
I don't remember the first time he did it, but I couldn't have yet been knee high to a grasshopper and still as shy as a little rabbit.
Walking into the foyer each Sabbath, there would be Mike waiting to greet us. He'd pull my ear, I'd pull his, we'd hug, and then my family would find our pew. If we happened to get in without seeing him, he'd sneak up and get my ear when I wasn't expecting it. It was our little game of greeting.
He was there to pull my ear when Momma and I would happen to stop by my MawMaw and PawPaw's house during his weekly Friday afternoon coffee time with them. He'd bring them vegetables from his garden and they'd share laughs.
And he was still there for those visits when it became my widowed MawMaw and her two widowed sisters. Drinking coffee and doing handyman jobs for them.
He was there to pull my ear when I gave him the cassette tapes at the sound booth for my "specials".
He was there to pull my ear at my baptism.
During those horrible junior high years.
And the possibly better high school ones.
When I graduated.
When I left for Texas A&M.
When I moved.
Away.
When I came back for my wedding. My wedding day couldn't be complete without an ear tug from Cousin Mike. He didn't want to. I made him do it.
He was always there with that little reminder that spoke more than words. It was his way of telling me that I was special. That I was part of the Family. And I believed him.
On the rare occasions that I would get the opportunity to visit my church family in Cut-N-Shoot, I would delight in spotting him before he spotted me. Sneaking up behind him, my fingers would seize his earlobe in a quick little tug or two. That told him all he needed to know, and my earlobe was rewarded in return.
When I returned this past September for my MawMaw's funeral, I knew it would be the last ear tug I received for a while. I just had no idea... how... long....
The phone call came this morning. It was complications from heart surgery.
Oh, but it wasn't his heart! He had a heart full of gold with an ornery streak of platinum running straight through it.
His was a heart big enough to shower his wife, son, daughter, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and in-laws with unconditional love...and still have more left over to give to shy little girls...and to a family of faith.
"Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary, use words." (1)
Cousin Mike didn't need many words to preach the good news of what it means to be family in the Kingdom of God.
There is a reason why I keep tugging on my own earlobes today in between sobs.
It's because he said it with smiles and vegetables and tugs on earlobes. With steadfast visits and cups of coffee. With his excellent workmanship. He and my best friend were "birthday buddies". That was their special thing, their poignant, special words. And these are just a few of the many special things he had with many, many special people. Because he was special.
He testified to a family love that can only be possible through Jesus.
And so the final days of this month mark not only the anniversary of his first breaths of life but the promise that he will breathe once more!
Our little family of faith, surrounded by the even larger family of God will all breathe that Kingdom air in together.
And when we do, I'm going to sneak up behind Cousin Mike and tell him how much I love him...
with a quick little tug on an earlobe.
(1) Saint Francis of Assisi
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Because that's who we all are. Family.
It's one of the deep, mysterious Truths that I couldn't help but learn experientially while growing up in a little country church congregation in the outskirts of Cut-N-Shoot, Texas. Blood is thicker than water, and this little congregation is a family of faith that knows it is bound together by the thickest, holiest blood of all.
And Cousin Mike made sure I knew it, too...with a very simple gesture. He pulled my earlobe. A quick little tug is all it took.
I don't remember the first time he did it, but I couldn't have yet been knee high to a grasshopper and still as shy as a little rabbit.
Walking into the foyer each Sabbath, there would be Mike waiting to greet us. He'd pull my ear, I'd pull his, we'd hug, and then my family would find our pew. If we happened to get in without seeing him, he'd sneak up and get my ear when I wasn't expecting it. It was our little game of greeting.
He was there to pull my ear when Momma and I would happen to stop by my MawMaw and PawPaw's house during his weekly Friday afternoon coffee time with them. He'd bring them vegetables from his garden and they'd share laughs.
And he was still there for those visits when it became my widowed MawMaw and her two widowed sisters. Drinking coffee and doing handyman jobs for them.
He was there to pull my ear when I gave him the cassette tapes at the sound booth for my "specials".
He was there to pull my ear at my baptism.
During those horrible junior high years.
And the possibly better high school ones.
When I graduated.
When I left for Texas A&M.
When I moved.
Away.
When I came back for my wedding. My wedding day couldn't be complete without an ear tug from Cousin Mike. He didn't want to. I made him do it.
He was always there with that little reminder that spoke more than words. It was his way of telling me that I was special. That I was part of the Family. And I believed him.
On the rare occasions that I would get the opportunity to visit my church family in Cut-N-Shoot, I would delight in spotting him before he spotted me. Sneaking up behind him, my fingers would seize his earlobe in a quick little tug or two. That told him all he needed to know, and my earlobe was rewarded in return.
When I returned this past September for my MawMaw's funeral, I knew it would be the last ear tug I received for a while. I just had no idea... how... long....
The phone call came this morning. It was complications from heart surgery.
Oh, but it wasn't his heart! He had a heart full of gold with an ornery streak of platinum running straight through it.
His was a heart big enough to shower his wife, son, daughter, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and in-laws with unconditional love...and still have more left over to give to shy little girls...and to a family of faith.
"Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary, use words." (1)
Cousin Mike didn't need many words to preach the good news of what it means to be family in the Kingdom of God.
There is a reason why I keep tugging on my own earlobes today in between sobs.
It's because he said it with smiles and vegetables and tugs on earlobes. With steadfast visits and cups of coffee. With his excellent workmanship. He and my best friend were "birthday buddies". That was their special thing, their poignant, special words. And these are just a few of the many special things he had with many, many special people. Because he was special.
He testified to a family love that can only be possible through Jesus.
And so the final days of this month mark not only the anniversary of his first breaths of life but the promise that he will breathe once more!
Our little family of faith, surrounded by the even larger family of God will all breathe that Kingdom air in together.
And when we do, I'm going to sneak up behind Cousin Mike and tell him how much I love him...
with a quick little tug on an earlobe.
(1) Saint Francis of Assisi
Monday, January 13, 2014
Tricked into Contentment
Okay - the joke is still being played out, so they haven't officially been tricked yet, but the hubby and I really think that we can pull it off. Those precious little whiners aren't going to know what hit them. We will. Have. The last. Laugh.
And truth be told, so will they, because even if it takes 15 years, we are determined that they will not have a whine to stand on. No doubt about it, the Holy Spirit is on our side. They will have no choice but to laugh...and thank us.
Because that is exactly what we are setting out to lure them into willingly doing.
Being content. Do you want in on it?
If we stop to think about it, we still recognize that contentment implies self-strength or self-sufficiency. It means that we have taught ourselves to master our emotions and summon up the strength within us to be happy. No doubt about it, this is a huge accomplishment.
And a daunting thing to try to teach children (deep breath!)
But one of Jesus' followers (Paul) had a little fun with this definition of contentment:
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And truth be told, so will they, because even if it takes 15 years, we are determined that they will not have a whine to stand on. No doubt about it, the Holy Spirit is on our side. They will have no choice but to laugh...and thank us.
Because that is exactly what we are setting out to lure them into willingly doing.
Being content. Do you want in on it?
Now, about contentment...
So, about 2,000 years ago, there were these men in Greece who had the contentment thing nailed. They taught that men who were truly wise didn't need material things in order to be happy. And they often demonstrated their wisdom by making sure that they never had very much. Their word for contentment literally meant self-strength or self-sufficient. [1]
If we stop to think about it, we still recognize that contentment implies self-strength or self-sufficiency. It means that we have taught ourselves to master our emotions and summon up the strength within us to be happy. No doubt about it, this is a huge accomplishment.
And a daunting thing to try to teach children (deep breath!)
But one of Jesus' followers (Paul) had a little fun with this definition of contentment:
Not that I speak from want,
for I have learned to be content [self-strong]
in whatever circumstances I am.
I know how to get along with humble means,
and I also know how to live in prosperity;
in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret
of being filled and going hungry,
both of having abundance and suffering need.
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
(Phil 4: 11-13, NASB)
Now before we go any further, let's look at that last sentence there. Yeah...the really, really familiar one.
The biggest thing here is that Paul was saying that even though it looked like he was "self-strong", he wasn't really "self-strong". No, it wasn't his own strength. It was strength that came from Jesus.
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" meant that Paul had the strength to be content when he had plenty of food to eat and a roof over his head...and when he was sitting in jail with absolutely nothing through no choice of his own. Unlike the Greeks who took great pride and personal satisfaction in purposely depriving themselves. Yes, there is a difference.
Now, that is the kind of contentment strength that I want my children to have.
Being content doesn't mean being all hunky-dory that life is less than ideal. It means having the strength to joyfully deal with the less than ideal while still recognizing and perhaps working towards the ideal. To focus on what we have rather than what we don't have.
This is the kind of contentment that will carry them through bad hair days, fun times with friends, job loss, the thrill of success, and bitter mourning.
Contentment, Paul-style, Jesus-style, is holy, because it is something that is of God. It is something to go after with eagerness and enthusiasm. It pulses through God's Kingdom.
But it isn't going to do much good to be discontent with discontentment.
No...dealing with discontentment requires a special kind of God-empowered-self-strength.
The kind that realizes that often, we are just as discontent as they are. We just have a different way of showing it. Oh, but we show it.
And it ain't pretty when it shows.
But if we show it when we are trying to teach them contentment, it is going to undermine everything.
The truth is that this special kind of God-empowered-self-strength is more than an issue of just knowing that this type of muscle exists. It's also an issue of actually exercising that muscle.
As parents, we realize that kids have really little muscles, and of those muscles, the self-strength muscle can be among the weakest. It gets tired really, really easily.
Especially when they are being forced to do something that they don't enjoy. And then even sometimes when they have something they like, but they just want something...different. {face-palm}.
This clearly isn't a fun muscle to exercise, so we trick them into exercising. We try to make it fun.
Because we want this God-strength to become real so that eventually, it won't hurt so much to exercise it and they'll be able to exercise it on their own.
However, I strongly suspect that in the process, we will discover that the joke is on us. That our kids aren't really the ones being tricked. We are.
Precious little whiners that we are, we aren't going to know what hit us. Because even if it takes 50 more years, He is determined that we will not have a whine to stand on. No doubt about it, the Holy Spirit is on His side. And we will have no choice but to laugh...and thank Him.
Curious about the cute little "I am content" card in the picture and video? You can find those at We Choose Virtues. (Use the code FAMILY20 to get 20% off a Family Kit).
[1] Craig S. Keener, The IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament
,
(IVP Academic,1994).
Did you catch that? It doesn't mean this:
It does means this:
The biggest thing here is that Paul was saying that even though it looked like he was "self-strong", he wasn't really "self-strong". No, it wasn't his own strength. It was strength that came from Jesus.
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" meant that Paul had the strength to be content when he had plenty of food to eat and a roof over his head...and when he was sitting in jail with absolutely nothing through no choice of his own. Unlike the Greeks who took great pride and personal satisfaction in purposely depriving themselves. Yes, there is a difference.
Now, that is the kind of contentment strength that I want my children to have.
Being content doesn't mean being all hunky-dory that life is less than ideal. It means having the strength to joyfully deal with the less than ideal while still recognizing and perhaps working towards the ideal. To focus on what we have rather than what we don't have.
This is the kind of contentment that will carry them through bad hair days, fun times with friends, job loss, the thrill of success, and bitter mourning.
Contentment, Paul-style, Jesus-style, is holy, because it is something that is of God. It is something to go after with eagerness and enthusiasm. It pulses through God's Kingdom.
Responding to Discontentment
We can get angry and frustrated at discontentment. We can criticize them for it and preach at them about how they need to be happy with what they've been given and how they have been given so much.But it isn't going to do much good to be discontent with discontentment.
No...dealing with discontentment requires a special kind of God-empowered-self-strength.
The kind that realizes that often, we are just as discontent as they are. We just have a different way of showing it. Oh, but we show it.
And it ain't pretty when it shows.
But if we show it when we are trying to teach them contentment, it is going to undermine everything.
The truth is that this special kind of God-empowered-self-strength is more than an issue of just knowing that this type of muscle exists. It's also an issue of actually exercising that muscle.
As parents, we realize that kids have really little muscles, and of those muscles, the self-strength muscle can be among the weakest. It gets tired really, really easily.
Especially when they are being forced to do something that they don't enjoy. And then even sometimes when they have something they like, but they just want something...different. {face-palm}.
This clearly isn't a fun muscle to exercise, so we trick them into exercising. We try to make it fun.
Because we want this God-strength to become real so that eventually, it won't hurt so much to exercise it and they'll be able to exercise it on their own.
Prepare to be Amused
These next few posts will focus on a few of the stealthy ways my husband and I are having fun tricking our kids into exercising their little contentment muscles.However, I strongly suspect that in the process, we will discover that the joke is on us. That our kids aren't really the ones being tricked. We are.
Precious little whiners that we are, we aren't going to know what hit us. Because even if it takes 50 more years, He is determined that we will not have a whine to stand on. No doubt about it, the Holy Spirit is on His side. And we will have no choice but to laugh...and thank Him.
Bonus Feature
This contented little ditty is courtesy of my hubby, Bryan. My knight-in-shining-armor discovered that we were having a little issue at the breakfast table regarding something that resembled "But I didn't want milk this morning!" In triplicate. The exact words were a little hard to distinguish because they weren't being spoken in normal voice. But my knight swooped in to the rescue! (Though he is slightly embarrassed about the "yeah" at the end ;-) )Curious about the cute little "I am content" card in the picture and video? You can find those at We Choose Virtues. (Use the code FAMILY20 to get 20% off a Family Kit).
,(IVP Academic,1994).
