Social[media] Graces

What is grace? Why is it important? And what does it mean to actually demonstrate grace in web-based conversations?

Let's let Phil Vischer get us started on this one...



Okay...we all heard Chuck Waggin (that's the blue gentleman...er, puppet... from the buckle of the Bible Belt)...

Grace is "Gettin' somethin' nice that you don't deserve. Grace is bein' given somethin' better than what you deserve."

Yes, the theology of grace goes way deeper than this, but for some reason, when it comes to web-based communication, it is challenging enough to grasp just the most basic definition.

See if this looks familiar:

1) Facebook Betty posts a link to a blog with the comment, "I really agree with this."
2) Friend Frannie pipes up, "Oh, wow! This is right on!"
3) Here comes Freddie, friend of Betty but not a friend of Frannie, "I couldn't disagree more. This is ridiculous."
4) Frannie feels a need to defend her support of the article and prove that her own opinions are not ridiculous.
5) After a few rounds of neither feeling like they are being heard, much less understood, Freddie throws the J-card, "You aren't my judge. God is my judge. Anyone who believes this way is judgmental and ignorant." The. ultimate. insults.
6) Frannie gets defensive, "I wasn't judging you! Maybe if you just read what I had written instead of reading what you wanted to read into it you would realized that! YOU are the judgmental one. Learn how to show some grace." Perhaps also true, but also insulting and terribly ironic.

Ahem...yeah...can't say that conversations like this give me the warm fuzzies.

Of course, these conversations have numerous variations and side streets, and they aren't always this blatant, but the one common thread is that each person in the conversation is wanting to receive grace without necessarily wanting to give grace. Except for the people who are putting up grace defense walls because sometimes we make friends with the chips on our own shoulders.

Now, I realize that just by writing about this, I can be accused of judging those of us who have been a party in these conversations. But here is the rub: If we can't be real about grace and judgment, we can't be real about anything...which is what we are trying to do when these situations just sneak up on us.

Face it. It isn't always easy to give someone the benefit of the doubt. To believe that someone can hold a differing opinion without condemning you for holding yours.

It is, however, very easy to give someone the impression that you think they are a horrible person because you have different convictions.

But at the same time, it is valuable to have different perspectives! None of us has all the answers, especially not all the right answers.

So where does grace fit in?

First, grace causes us to aspire to communicate from a point of common ground. To look ahead and see where and how we could be misunderstood and see if there might be a more effective way to communicate. This is hard. It is especially hard when we don't have a rich personal history and trust and mutual respect with everyone who could become involved in the conversation.

Secondly, grace assumes that although someone posts something that you disagree with or that you think is absurd that they still have a perspective worth discovering. Thus, grace requires that we respectfully give someone our ear even we don't think that they deserve it. We ask genuine questions. We genuinely answer questions. It will help us understand one another better.

Next, grace gives someone the benefit of the doubt that they aren't judging even if their post indicates that they have different values or priorities.

Finally, grace doesn't retaliate in anger, but in kindness. It doesn't accuse but builds up instead. If someone riles you up, think about what you want to say to them...what you think they really deserve...and then go in the opposite direction. In genuineness. That is grace.

It helps us grow closer to the Lord instead of stomping off in the other direction in all of our righteous indignation.

But the fact of the matter is, I'm going to fail at this. You are probably going to at least struggle with it.

And I hope that when we do, grace will be there, "givin' somethin' better to me than what I deserve"  in return.

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Special Note: CelebrateTheHoly.com is a blog that chronicles my own personal quest to make my own home a place where heaven meets earth as I understand this concept through my study of Scripture. I'm not blogging with the intent of condemning anyone! ;-)

At times, I may challenge the traditional approach, but please remember that I am challenging myself first. You aren't going to agree with all of my applications, and I welcome your gracious feedback and collaboration.

Do I believe in absolute truth? Yes. And I believe that Jesus is the One who embodies all that truth and that it glorifies Him to seek out and share those truths in a gracious manner. However, I also believe that He has a unique relationship with and plan for each of us. Let's encourage one another as we live that out!